Thursday, November 26, 2009

a day of gratitude

more like days of gratitude. why we only have one holiday to celebrate thankfulness, i have no idea. we need it at least once a month, don't you think? i digress.

once upon an august day, i met someone that changed my life. i've been waiting until this assumed day of gratitude, secretly, to post this.

it's easy to argue that someone has changed your life, since in the grand scheme of things, life is about the relationships you make and break. maintenance is i suppose a component of all that, but the truth is, they come and go, often times going more quickly than they've entered.

college for me isn't and won't ever be about getting my degree. college is a four-year crash course in relationship building and breaking. so to me, with so little time to absorb the individuals i meet, it's become like a strategic vacuum of the beautiful pieces of people that i've had to run all over the place.

no one really plugged that vacuum until i let you into my heart. time has slowed with you in my life, and i suppose i can't really be more grateful. i've been a place for so long where i can't get past the fact that college really is just about the selfishness of getting what you can out of it and then leaving it with a mortarboard toss and a picture of you and a dean you never knew. on the contrary, you have changed that feeling for me. i don't feel rushed to discover and retain when i'm around you. i don't dream further than the future in which we both seemingly find trivial, when the dream is here, in this moment, ready to envelop us if we let it. i'm incredulous at your ability to meet someone and have them welcome you below their surface in literally one conversation. to know so many so intimately, i couldn't really guess what it really feels like to know someone in your heart. but i can guess that i've become one of those people you know, or it sure feels like it.

flaw (n.) : a mark, fault or imperfection that mars a substance or object.
you've given me this: that the only faux pas one can commit is the inability to embrace the flaws in oneself and others. i suppose the concept of the flaw that you've redesigned in me is that it is simply something to be appreciated over an asset.

this is Rachel. she's kinda boy crazy, too flirty all the time, too sexual when inebriated, and consumes way too much diet coke. but she's one of the most phenomenal human beings i've ever met.

you're Beautiful, don't let anyone or anything (including yourself) lose sight of that. So it goes, I don't feel a need to fill the silence, to withhold my thoughts, to hesitate in asking for what i need, to be anything other than what should be forgiven by default: human, while in your company Miss Drummond.

1 comment:

  1. Miss Lei,

    You have summed two things up quite well here, with only one minor mistakes.

    I shall start with the tiny mistake. Miss Drummond would actually prefer Diet Dr. Pepper over Diet Coke, but, I digress.

    First point you summed up oh so amazingly: Rachel. That's it. You summed her up to the point, and I appreciate and agree completely!

    Second point, you described your own life as well. You can replace Rachel's name (and a few of the specific details) with your own and, voila, there's Lei! You're amazing too, and take that last paragraph and let it speak to you as well, not just to Rachel.

    Sincerely,

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