my sense of humor...

has not transformed in the slightest.

baby lei apparently gave her mother cute things like this:

note the presence of an expiration date in the bottom right corner.

a prayer request slip i filled out at the christmas eve service last night:

fresh kicks... to the nuts.

i know i know, it's 2:25AM, and you need to be up to cook for brunch tomorrow at Asifa's.

i'm not making excuses. sleep is one of my truest loves. from what i've gathered in my short twenty years, love requires reciprocation in all senses. sleep has reciprocated in wonderful ways lately, my dreams have spun silky outlines of good company: the kind with bright eyes.

as i packed my wallet with fresh birthday money to endure holiday shopping, i fully immersed myself in the consumerdom (and i mean that in the exact way kingdom connotes totalitarian rule by the king) that makes the US of Armadillos' armor so tough.

whilst roaming through Ross, watching lines pile behind the cash register back to the dressing rooms with the overstocked knickknacks and great deals (that for some reason are much more popular in Hilo than anywhere else i've been), i sat down on the shoe bench. in my lap sat a pair of Nike high tops, glittering with outrageous colors, size 7-and-a-half. and as my well-practiced middle class fingers fumbled for the price tag, i knew that no matter what it said, they were going to be cheap enough.

cheap enough to come home and tell mom about how excited i was they were so cheap and wonder if she needed anything from Ross so she'd throw them on the conveyor belt with her stuff?

yes.

cheap enough.

it slapped me in the face all of a sudden. i am a thief. not of my mother's generosity, not of my pride, not of my own bank account, but of the concept of need. i have taken need hostage and disguised it as want in virtually all aspects of what i buy. my personal wants have become needs, thus trampling over my poor mother's needs too.

and what do most say? what makes us human, what makes all of the diversity within our species come together? our needs. need for food, shelter, and love. and here i am, hijacking the beautiful ties that bind us for these nike high tops.

perhaps this is where we should really evaluate what type of free market we are not only a product of, but are creating in our lives.

something to checkout if you think any of it's interesting:

Reverend Billy and the Church of Life After Shopping

or more so... the movement called culture jamming.